Psalms 38:11
My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off.
English Standard Version (ESV)
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What’s easy to miss is that David’s friends and family aren't just absent; they’re actively keeping their distance, as if he has a contagious disease. This isn't just about neglect, but a profound fear and revulsion, marking him as "unclean" or cursed, highlighting the isolating horror of his suffering.
The psalmist is in deep distress, describing his physical suffering and the shame it brings. This verse reveals a painful isolation as not only his close friends but even his own family members keep their distance, likely out of fear of contagion or a belief that he is being punished by God. This desertion amplifies his suffering, leaving him feeling utterly alone in his misery.
Imagine pouring out your heart, only to find silence where you expected comfort. This verse paints a stark picture of isolation, even from those who should be your strongest allies.
David is in deep distress, and he cries out about the heartbreaking reality of his situation: his closest relationships have dissolved.
The Pain of Proximity Turned Distance
The commentary suggests several reasons for this desertion: fear of contagion (spiritual or physical), contempt, a sense that David is under divine judgment and therefore untouchable, or simply the unpleasantness of witnessing his suffering. Whatever the specific reason, the result is the same: profound loneliness in the midst of suffering.
Sometimes, when people see someone suffering intensely, their first thought isn't empathy, but judgment. This verse touches on that harsh reality.
David's affliction is so severe that it appears to others as a sign of God's direct judgment. This perception leads them to withdraw, as if his suffering were contagious or a mark of divine disapproval.
The Human Tendency to Judge
Understand the original words
'oheb · Hebrew Noun
A general term for those associated with another, often implying mutual affection or common interest. Biblically, it refers to those expected to provide support and loyalty, yet who may fail in times of crisis.
nega' · Hebrew Noun
A term describing a chronic, smiting, or severe affliction, often viewed as a judgment or a divine disciplinary stroke. In a broad biblical context, it connotes a state of physical or spiritual misery that isolates the sufferer.
qarob · Hebrew Noun
A general term for kin or blood relatives who are obligated by covenantal or familial bonds to provide protection and support. When they "stand far off," it indicates a betrayal of these social and moral expectations.
The acute sense of abandonment in Psalm 38, where even close companions and family distance themselves, powerfully reflects the profound isolation David felt during times of intense personal crisis, such as fleeing his own rebellious son Absalom or facing severe illness that he perceived as divine punishment.
c. 1000 BC
David's United Monarchy Reigns
David is king of a united Israel, a period of significant political and military strength, though marked by personal and family turmoil.
c. 1000 BC - 970 BC
David's Reign Marked by Sin and Consequences
David's reign is punctuated by significant personal failures, such as his sin with Bathsheba and the subsequent violence, leading to family strife and divine discipline.
c. 990 BC
Absalom's Rebellion
David's son Absalom leads a rebellion, forcing David to flee Jerusalem, a profound personal and political crisis that shatters family loyalty.
c. 990 BC— this verse
David Flees Jerusalem During Rebellion
David is forced to abandon his throne and flee Jerusalem, experiencing the pain of seeing his kingdom and even some close associates turn against him.
Like the Psalmist, Job laments that even his closest family and dearest friends have abandoned him during his terrible suffering, highlighting the deep pain of isolation during affliction.
Psalms 88:18This passage echoes the Psalmist's experience of being utterly deserted, stating that 'lover and friend are far from me, and my companions are in darkness,' underscoring the profound loneliness that can accompany severe distress.
Matthew 26:56During Jesus' darkest hour, as He was arrested, the disciples 'left him and fled,' mirroring the desertion described in Psalms 38, showing how even close followers can falter under pressure.
Isaiah 53:3This prophetic passage describes the suffering servant as 'despised and rejected by men,' which aligns with the Psalmist's experience of friends and family standing aloof, as if he were marked by a divine judgment.
clarkePsalms 38:11: "My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off."
My lovers - Those who professed much affection for me; my friends, רעי reai, my companions, who never before left my company, stand aloof. My kinsmen - קרובי kerobai, my neighbors, stand afar off. I am deserted by all, and they stand off because of נגעי nigi, my plague. They considered me as suffering under a Divine judgment; and, thinking me an accursed being, they avoided me lest they should b…
jfbPsalms 38:11: "My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off."
11, 12. Friends desert, but foes increase in malignity.
What’s easy to miss is that David’s friends and family aren't just absent; they’re actively keeping their distance, as if he has a contagious disease. This isn't just about neglect, but a profound fear and revulsion, marking him as "unclean" or cursed, highlighting the isolating horror of his suffering.
The psalmist is in deep distress, describing his physical suffering and the shame it brings. This verse reveals a painful isolation as not only his close friends but even his own family members keep their distance, likely out of fear of contagion or a belief that he is being punished by God. This desertion amplifies his suffering, leaving him feeling utterly alone in his misery.
The psalmist is in deep distress, describing his physical suffering and the shame it brings. This verse reveals a painful isolation as not only his close friends but even his own family members keep their distance, likely out of fear of contagion or a belief that he is being punished by God. This desertion amplifies his suffering, leaving him feeling utterly alone in his misery.
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This response from his community highlights David's deep isolation and underscores how painful it is when those who should offer support instead distance themselves out of fear or judgment.
c. 970 BC
David's Later Years and Succession Struggles
David's final years are marked by illness, political intrigue concerning succession, and his own reflections on sin and divine judgment.
"My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague, and my nearest kin stand far off." — What’s easy to miss is that David’s friends and family aren't just absent; they’re actively keeping their distance, as if he has a contagious disease. This isn't just about neglect, but a profound fe…
