Matthew 10:37-38
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Jesus isn't asking us to disown our families, but to reorder our affections. He wants us to recognize that family love, while precious, is meant to be a reflection of—and subservient to—our love for Him, not a replacement for it. This priority check is essential, because true discipleship means Christ’s call always takes precedence over even the most natural and cherished human bonds.
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Jesus is sending out his disciples to proclaim that the kingdom of heaven has come, but this mission will bring division and persecution. He warns them that their own families might turn against them because of their allegiance to him. Therefore, Jesus emphasizes that discipleship demands a love for him that surpasses all earthly relationships, even the deepest bonds of family.
Jesus' words here can sound harsh, almost anti-family. But what does He really mean when He says to 'love' someone less than Him?
Jesus isn't asking us to abandon our natural affections for family. The Bible affirms the importance of honoring parents and caring for children. Instead, Jesus is calling for a radical reordering of our loyalties.
What 'Less Than' Really Means
Think of it like this: Our love for family, while good and natural, must be subordinate to our love for Christ. It's not about hating them, but about Christ holding the ultimate, supreme position in our hearts. When these loves come into competition, our allegiance to Jesus must win.
This means that if honoring our parents means disobeying God, or if protecting our children means compromising the Gospel, we must choose Jesus. It’s about ensuring our deepest affections and ultimate obedience are directed towards Him.
Following Jesus isn't always easy. This verse is a stark reminder that true discipleship involves a 'cost calculation.'
Jesus is incredibly direct here: if your love for family outranks your love for Him, you are 'not worthy' of Him. This isn't just about a feeling; it's about a readiness to act, even when it's difficult.
Counting the Cost
Being a disciple means being willing to give up everything if necessary – family, possessions, even life itself – for the sake of following Christ. Jesus compares it to a builder counting the cost before constructing a tower, or a king assessing his strength before going to war. There's a serious 'return on investment' calculation to be made.
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This doesn't mean we seek out hardship, but that we are prepared for it. If our faith requires us to make difficult choices that alienate us from loved ones or put us in challenging situations, we must be willing to do so, understanding that the ultimate reward of belonging to Christ is worth any earthly cost.
Understand the original words
philon · Greek Verb
Biblical love involves more than emotion; it is an active, sacrificial commitment and devotion. Here, it refers to the highest priority of allegiance, which must be reserved for Christ above all human relationships.
axios · Greek Adjective
To be worthy in a biblical sense implies possessing the character, posture, or allegiance appropriate for a relationship or calling. It denotes being fitting or aligned with the nature of the one to whom one is dedicated.
stauron · Greek Noun
A Roman instrument of execution, used by Jesus as a metaphor for the absolute renunciation of one's own will and the acceptance of public shame, suffering, and potential death for the sake of faithfulness to God.
akolouthei · Greek Verb
Biblical discipleship involves coming alongside Jesus, adopting His lifestyle, and following Him into the path of sacrifice and obedience. It signifies a continuous, intentional commitment to imitate Him.
This passage echoes Matthew 10:37 by using stronger language ('hate not') to emphasize that loyalty to Jesus must supersede even the most natural and powerful human affections, including family.
Deuteronomy 13:6-10This Old Testament passage illustrates the principle that even the closest family members must not lead one astray from God, foreshadowing Jesus' teaching that devotion to Him must be paramount.
Philippians 3:7-8Paul's testimony shows a practical outworking of Jesus' command, where he counts everything else as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ, mirroring the supreme value Jesus demands.
Matthew 19:29Jesus directly links leaving family and possessions for His sake with receiving a great reward, reinforcing the idea that such sacrifices, as alluded to in Matthew 10:37, are foundational to discipleship.
calvinMatthew 10:37-42: "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
- He who loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38. And he who doth not take his cross and follow me, [603] is not worthy of me. 39. He who findeth his life [604] shall lose it; and he who loseth his life for my sake shall find it. [605] 40. He who receiv…
bensonMatthew 10:37: "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
Matthew 10:37-38 . He that loveth father or mother more than me — He that is not ready to give up all these when they stand in competition with his duty; is not worthy of me — Nor shall have any interest in my saving benefits. And he that taketh not his cross, &c. — Every one condemned to crucifixion by the Romans was compelled to carry the cros…
Jesus isn't asking us to disown our families, but to reorder our affections. He wants us to recognize that family love, while precious, is meant to be a reflection of—and subservient to—our love for Him, not a replacement for it. This priority check is essential, because true discipleship means Christ’s call always takes precedence over even the most natural and cherished human bonds.
Jesus is sending out his disciples to proclaim that the kingdom of heaven has come, but this mission will bring division and persecution. He warns them that their own families might turn against them because of their allegiance to him. Therefore, Jesus emphasizes that discipleship demands a love for him that surpasses all earthly relationships, even the deepest bonds of family.
Jesus is sending out his disciples to proclaim that the kingdom of heaven has come, but this mission will bring division and persecution. He warns them that their own families might turn against them because of their allegiance to him. Therefore, Jesus emphasizes that discipleship demands a love for him that surpasses all earthly relationships, even the deepest bonds of family.
"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." — Jesus isn't asking us to disown our families, but to reorder our affections. He wants us to recognize that family love, while precious, is meant to be a reflection of—and subservient to—our love for…
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Last reviewed October 2026
