“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Jesus isn't asking us to literally hate our families; the word here means to love them less than Him, even to the point of being willing to forsake them if they conflict with following Him. He's emphasizing that discipleship requires an absolute, unwavering devotion to Him above all earthly attachments, even life itself.
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Jesus is speaking to a large crowd that has gathered to hear him, and he turns to confront them directly with the radical cost of following him. He immediately follows this strong statement by explaining the necessity of "counting the cost" by using parables about building a tower and waging war, emphasizing that true discipleship requires a full commitment.
Jesus uses the word 'hate' for family and even our own lives. What could He possibly mean by such a harsh term?
The Principle of Priority
The word 'hate' here isn't about wishing ill or animosity. Instead, it's a strong Hebraic idiom for 'loving less' or 'ranking lower.' Think of it like this: If you have two things you love, but one is infinitely more precious, you might say you 'hate' the lesser one by comparison.
Why the Extreme Language?
Jesus uses this shocking language to emphasize a non-negotiable truth: absolute priority. When Jesus says 'hate' your family and even your own life, He means that your love and commitment to Him must be so overwhelmingly superior that it dwarfs all other affections and loyalties. If any relationship or even your own life stands between you and Him, or hinders your obedience, it must be set aside. It’s about ordering your loves correctly, putting Christ absolutely first.
Discipleship isn't just about following Jesus; it's about being willing to let go of everything for Him. What does this radical 'forsaking' truly look like?
Counting the Cost
Jesus isn't asking for a partial commitment. He uses vivid analogies—building a tower or going to war—to show that genuine discipleship requires a deliberate, upfront assessment of the cost. This isn't about reckless abandon but informed devotion.
More Than Just Possessions
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This 'forsaking all' isn't necessarily about literally abandoning your family or giving away all your possessions (though it could mean that). As commentators note, it's primarily about the affections and the readiness of the heart. It means being willing to surrender anything and everything if Christ calls you to it. Your deepest loyalties must be to Him, even if it means going against the natural pull of family ties or the instinct for self-preservation.
It's a state of being unbound by earthly ties, ready to follow Christ wherever He leads, without hesitation.
Understand the original words
mathētēs · Greek Noun
In a biblical context, this refers to the active state of following Jesus, adhering to His teachings, and undergoing transformation into His likeness. It involves total commitment and allegiance to Christ above all other relationships or earthly pursuits.
miseō · Greek Verb
In this context, it is a Semitic idiom denoting a strong preference or priority rather than literal malice. It signifies that one's devotion to God must be so supreme that all other loves appear as hatred by comparison.
psychē · Greek Noun
Refers to the physical body and the temporal, earthly life. Biblically, it encompasses one's self-preservation instincts, personal desires, and the natural life that must be surrendered to experience true spiritual life in Christ.
This passage offers a parallel expression, clarifying that 'hating' in this context means loving one's family and even one's own life less than Christ.
Philippians 3:7-8Paul's testimony here illustrates the radical re-evaluation of all things, counting them as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Christ, which mirrors the sentiment of prioritizing Christ above all else.
John 12:25Jesus speaks about losing one's life in this world to keep it for eternal life, a concept directly related to the self-renunciation required for true discipleship mentioned in Luke.
Deuteronomy 13:6-9This Old Testament passage warns against showing favoritism to close family members, even to the point of sparing them, when it conflicts with loyalty to God, providing an earlier example of God's priority.
calvinLuke 14:25-32: "And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them,"
- He who loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38. And he who doth not take his cross and follow me, [603] is not worthy of me. 39. He who findeth his life [604] shall lose it; and he who loseth his life for my sake shall find it. [605] 40. He who receiveth you receiveth me: and he who receiveth me receiveth him w…
jfbLuke 14:26: "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."
26, 27. If any man, &c.—(See on [1671]Mt 10:34-36, and Mr 8:34, 35).
Jesus isn't asking us to literally hate our families; the word here means to love them less than Him, even to the point of being willing to forsake them if they conflict with following Him. He's emphasizing that discipleship requires an absolute, unwavering devotion to Him above all earthly attachments, even life itself.
Jesus is speaking to a large crowd that has gathered to hear him, and he turns to confront them directly with the radical cost of following him. He immediately follows this strong statement by explaining the necessity of "counting the cost" by using parables about building a tower and waging war, emphasizing that true discipleship requires a full commitment.
Jesus is speaking to a large crowd that has gathered to hear him, and he turns to confront them directly with the radical cost of following him. He immediately follows this strong statement by explaining the necessity of "counting the cost" by using parables about building a tower and waging war, emphasizing that true discipleship requires a full commitment.
"“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple." — Jesus isn't asking us to literally hate our families; the word here means to love them less than Him, even to the point of being willing to forsake them if they conflict with following Him. He's em…
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Last reviewed October 2026