Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
English Standard Version (ESV)
The key insight here is that "discipline and instruction of the Lord" isn't just about teaching religious facts, but about the way a father lives and trains his children in God's ways, reflecting Christ's own loving authority. This means parents aren't just imparting knowledge, but embodying it through gentle, firm guidance that keeps their children's hearts turned toward the Lord.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
English Standard Version (ESV)
This verse directly follows the instructions for wives and husbands, now shifting focus to fathers and their children within the household. It builds upon the preceding discussion of how believers are to live within their spheres of influence, emphasizing the responsibility of parents in shaping their children's character and faith.
Ever feel like your words or actions push your kids away, making them defensive or resentful? Paul hits this head-on with fathers.
Paul’s instruction to fathers is crystal clear: 'do not provoke your children to anger.' This isn't just about avoiding yelling matches.
What Provokes Anger?
The goal is to prevent your children from becoming hardened or discouraged, which can lead them to resent you and even God. It’s about governing with a calm spirit, not out of personal anger.
So, what should fathers be doing? Paul gives us a two-pronged approach that builds up, rather than tears down.
After the negative command, Paul offers a powerful positive alternative: 'but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.' This is about intentional, loving training.
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Two Pillars of Parenting:
'Of the Lord'
Crucially, both discipline and instruction are to be 'of the Lord.' This means they should be:
This isn't just about raising good kids; it's about raising children who know and love the Lord.
Understand the original words
parorgizete · Greek Verb
To stir up, irritate, or exasperate; biblically, it warns against parenting that leads to resentment rather than growth in godliness.
paideia · Greek Noun
Systematic training or correction; often associated with parental or divine guidance that corrects behavior and develops moral character.
nouthesia · Greek Noun
A formal body of teaching or doctrine; in a biblical context, it refers to the intentional imparting of truth and knowledge of God.
This passage describes the foundational principle of Israelite parenting: to constantly impress God's commands on their children, integrating faith into the fabric of daily life, much like the 'discipline and instruction of the Lord' called for in Ephesians.
Proverbs 22:6This verse offers a parallel promise and instruction, stating that training a child in the way they should go will lead them to not depart from it, echoing the goal of parental nurture and admonition.
Colossians 3:21This verse directly addresses fathers with a similar negative command: 'Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they may not lose heart,' highlighting the danger of harshness that Ephesians 6:4 also warns against.
Hebrews 12:7-10This passage speaks of God's discipline as evidence of His fatherly love, framing 'nurture' and 'instruction' not just as parental duties but as reflections of God's own loving, corrective relationship with His children.
vincentEphesians 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Nurture and admonition (παιδείᾳ καὶ νουθεσίᾳ)Πας δείᾳ from παίς a child. In classical usage, that which is applied to train and educate a Child. So Plato: "Education (παιδεία) is the constraining and directing of youth toward that right reason which the law affirms, and which the experience of the best of our elders has agreed to be truly right" ("Laws," 65…
barnesEphesians 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
And ye fathers - A command addressed particularly to "fathers," because they are at the head of the family, and its government is especially committed to them. The object of the apostle here is, to show parents that their commands should be such that they can be easily obeyed, or such as are entirely reasonable and proper. If children are required to "obey," it is b…
The key insight here is that "discipline and instruction of the Lord" isn't just about teaching religious facts, but about the way a father lives and trains his children in God's ways, reflecting Christ's own loving authority. This means parents aren't just imparting knowledge, but embodying it through gentle, firm guidance that keeps their children's hearts turned toward the Lord.
This verse directly follows the instructions for wives and husbands, now shifting focus to fathers and their children within the household. It builds upon the preceding discussion of how believers are to live within their spheres of influence, emphasizing the responsibility of parents in shaping their children's character and faith.
This verse directly follows the instructions for wives and husbands, now shifting focus to fathers and their children within the household. It builds upon the preceding discussion of how believers are to live within their spheres of influence, emphasizing the responsibility of parents in shaping their children's character and faith.
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." — The key insight here is that "discipline and instruction of the Lord" isn't just about teaching religious facts, but about the way a father lives and trains his children in God's ways, reflecting C…
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Last reviewed October 2026