Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
English Standard Version (ESV)
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The verse doesn't just tell fathers not to make their kids angry; it implicitly calls them to earn obedience through wise, God-honoring leadership. This means providing both "discipline" (training, instruction, even correction) and "admonition" (gentle reminders, guidance) that are rooted in the Lord, not just parental whim.
This instruction for fathers follows Paul's guidance on household relationships, particularly the mutual responsibilities between husbands and wives. He's just explained wives' submission and husbands' love, and now he addresses the next layer of family dynamics. The verse is a direct command to parents, a call to balance firm guidance with loving care in raising their children.
Ever feel like you're just pouring gasoline on a tiny spark of anger? This verse hits close to home for parents who've experienced that frustration.
Paul gives a clear, two-part command: first, a 'don't' – 'do not provoke your children to anger.' This isn't just about avoiding yelling matches. It's about recognizing how parents can unintentionally create bitterness and resentment in their kids.
How Parents Provoke:
When children feel unjustly treated or constantly attacked, their hearts can harden. Instead of fostering respect, this kind of parenting breeds rebellion and a deep-seated anger that can damage relationships for years.
What does it look like to raise kids 'in the Lord'? It's more than just going to church; it's a whole way of life.
The second part of the verse is the positive command: 'but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.' This is the antidote to provocation, focusing on the way children are raised.
Two Pillars of Upbringing:
Understand the original words
parorgizete · Greek Verb
To stir up, irritate, or exasperate; biblically, it warns against parenting that leads to resentment rather than growth in godliness.
paideia · Greek Noun
Systematic training or correction; often associated with parental or divine guidance that corrects behavior and develops moral character.
nouthesia · Greek Noun
A formal body of teaching or doctrine; in a biblical context, it refers to the intentional imparting of truth and knowledge of God.
This verse directly echoes Ephesians 6:4 by warning fathers not to exasperate their children, lest they become discouraged, highlighting the negative consequences of harsh parenting.
Proverbs 22:6This proverb provides a foundational principle for 'bringing up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord,' emphasizing that training them in the right way from a young age yields lasting results.
Hebrews 12:7-10This passage from Hebrews speaks to God's own fatherly discipline, drawing a parallel to human parents. It shows that true discipline, though sometimes painful, is a sign of love and aims for spiritual growth, mirroring the 'nurture and admonition of the Lord'.
1 Corinthians 10:11This verse speaks of how past events were written down as warnings (admonitions) for future generations. It relates to the 'admonition' part of Ephesians 6:4, suggesting that instruction and warning are crucial for spiritual development throughout life, not just in childhood.
Genesis 18:19Here, God explicitly states His knowledge of Abraham's commitment to commanding his household in righteousness. This serves as a powerful Old Testament example of the principle outlined in Ephesians 6:4, showing God's expectation for fathers to lead their families in His ways.
vincentEphesians 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Nurture and admonition (παιδείᾳ καὶ νουθεσίᾳ)Πας δείᾳ from παίς a child. In classical usage, that which is applied to train and educate a Child. So Plato: "Education (παιδεία) is the constraining and directing of youth toward that right reason which the law affirms, and which the experience of the best of our elders has agreed to be truly right" ("Laws," 65…
barnesEphesians 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
And ye fathers - A command addressed particularly to "fathers," because they are at the head of the family, and its government is especially committed to them. The object of the apostle here is, to show parents that their commands should be such that they can be easily obeyed, or such as are entirely reasonable and proper. If children are required to "obey," it is b…
The verse doesn't just tell fathers not to make their kids angry; it implicitly calls them to earn obedience through wise, God-honoring leadership. This means providing both "discipline" (training, instruction, even correction) and "admonition" (gentle reminders, guidance) that are rooted in the Lord, not just parental whim.
This instruction for fathers follows Paul's guidance on household relationships, particularly the mutual responsibilities between husbands and wives. He's just explained wives' submission and husbands' love, and now he addresses the next layer of family dynamics. The verse is a direct command to parents, a call to balance firm guidance with loving care in raising their children.
This instruction for fathers follows Paul's guidance on household relationships, particularly the mutual responsibilities between husbands and wives. He's just explained wives' submission and husbands' love, and now he addresses the next layer of family dynamics. The verse is a direct command to parents, a call to balance firm guidance with loving care in raising their children.
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'Of the Lord' is Key:
Crucially, this training isn't just any discipline or instruction. It's 'of the Lord.' This means:
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." — The verse doesn't just tell fathers not to make their kids angry; it implicitly calls them to earn obedience through wise, God-honoring leadership. This means providing both "discipline" (trainin…
