However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
English Standard Version (ESV)
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Ephesians 5:33
What does Ephesians 5:33 mean?
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Ephesians 5:33
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The verse highlights that a wife's respect for her husband isn't just about obedience, but stems from a deeper "fear" that translates to honor and reverence, acknowledging the God-ordained order within the marriage. This isn't about subservience out of fear of punishment, but a willing honoring of the structure God established.
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Having just explored the profound mystery of Christ's love for the church, Paul now pivots back to the practical realities of marriage. He urges husbands to love their wives with a love as deep and integral as their love for themselves, and calls wives to show their husbands a profound respect, akin to awe. This brings his extended analogy of Christ and the church to a personal, actionable conclusion for married couples.
Paul wraps up his profound teaching on Christ and the Church with a direct command for husbands. What does it truly mean to love your wife 'as yourself'?
Paul's command for husbands to 'love his wife as himself' isn't just about affection; it's about deep, sacrificial care rooted in unity.
Unified Identity
Because marriage makes husband and wife 'one flesh,' loving your wife is like caring for your own body. You naturally nourish and protect your own being; Paul urges husbands to extend this same instinct to their wives. This isn't about a wife being less important, but about the profound interconnectedness within marriage.
Christlike Sacrifice
This love is modeled after Christ's love for the Church. Christ gave Himself up for the Church, nourishing and cherishing it. Husbands are called to a similar self-denying love, prioritizing their wife's well-being and happiness, even to the point of sacrifice.
The Foundation of Happiness
This mutual love is presented as foundational to a happy and peaceful marriage. When this principle is honored, the marriage is built on a solid, God-ordained foundation.
The verse also calls wives to 'respect' their husbands. What does this look like in practice, and how does it relate to the husband's love?
The call for wives to 'reverence' (or 'fear') their husbands is not about timid submission or slavish obedience, but about a deep-seated respect for the God-ordained role within the marriage.
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Acknowledging God's Design
This reverence acknowledges the husband as the head of the household, a position established by God. It's about respecting the order and structure God has put in place for the well-being of the family.
Mutual Harmony
This mutual respect and love are designed to create harmony. While the husband's love is sacrificial and nurturing, the wife's reverence provides a stable anchor, preventing disorder and ensuring peace within the home. It's a partnership where each role honors the other.
Not Fear of Punishment
Commentaries clarify that the 'fear' here is not a cowering dread, but a profound honor and deference. It means valuing the husband's leadership and contributing to a peaceful, unified household by acknowledging his position.
Understand the original words
agapatō · Greek Verb
The Greek word 'agape' denotes a selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional love that seeks the highest good of the other, regardless of personal cost or the merit of the recipient.
phobētai · Greek Verb
In this context, it signifies a deep-seated reverence, honor, and esteem for the husband, acknowledging his God-ordained role and seeking to uphold his position within the marriage covenant.
This verse is directly quoted in the context of Ephesians 5, establishing the foundational 'one flesh' union that underpins the mutual love and respect described here.
Colossians 3:18-19This passage offers a parallel instruction within the New Testament, outlining similar marital duties of wives submitting to their husbands and husbands loving their wives, reinforcing the practical application of these principles.
1 Peter 3:1-7Peter echoes the sentiment of mutual respect and love within marriage, specifically addressing how wives should conduct themselves and how husbands should treat their wives with understanding and honor, adding a layer of relational depth.
Proverbs 31:10-31This extended description of the 'virtuous woman' highlights qualities that would naturally inspire a husband's love and respect, illustrating the ideal character that complements the directives given in Ephesians 5:33.
vincentEphesians 5:33: "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
NeverthelessNot to dwell longer on the mystical aspect of the subject.Even as himselfNot as much as he loves himself, but as being his very self.
barnesEphesians 5:33: "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband."
Nevertheless - The apostle here resumes the subject which he had been discussing in Ephesians 5:21-29 , and says that it was the duty of every man to love his wife as he did himself. This was the main topic, from which he had been diverted by the discussion respecting the love which the Redeemer had shown for his church. And the wife see that she r…
The verse highlights that a wife's respect for her husband isn't just about obedience, but stems from a deeper "fear" that translates to honor and reverence, acknowledging the God-ordained order within the marriage. This isn't about subservience out of fear of punishment, but a willing honoring of the structure God established.
Having just explored the profound mystery of Christ's love for the church, Paul now pivots back to the practical realities of marriage. He urges husbands to love their wives with a love as deep and integral as their love for themselves, and calls wives to show their husbands a profound respect, akin to awe. This brings his extended analogy of Christ and the church to a personal, actionable conclusion for married couples.
Having just explored the profound mystery of Christ's love for the church, Paul now pivots back to the practical realities of marriage. He urges husbands to love their wives with a love as deep and integral as their love for themselves, and calls wives to show their husbands a profound respect, akin to awe. This brings his extended analogy of Christ and the church to a personal, actionable conclusion for married couples.
"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." — The verse highlights that a wife's respect for her husband isn't just about obedience, but stems from a deeper "fear" that translates to honor and reverence, acknowledging the God-ordained order with…
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Last reviewed October 2026