Colossians 3:18-19
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The phrase "as is fitting in the Lord" is key here, shifting the context beyond a mere cultural expectation to a divine one. It means this submission isn't a cultural obligation, but a Christian one, fitting for those united in Christ and to be lived out in a way that honors Him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Paul transitions from general instructions on Christian living to specific duties within the household. He addresses wives first, then husbands, children, parents, slaves, and masters, outlining how Christ's teachings should shape these relationships. This section emphasizes that all these roles, even seemingly subordinate ones, are to be lived out in a way that honors God.
The instruction for wives to submit might sound harsh, but it's deeply tied to something much grander than just earthly hierarchy.
Paul isn't just laying down a social rule here; he's grounding wifely submission in the reality of Christian unity. Notice how he says 'as is fitting in the Lord.' This isn't a blind obedience to a husband's every whim, but a submission that reflects the way believers relate to Christ and each other within His body.
A Higher Calling
The 'fittingness' in the Lord points to an internal, spiritual order. It's about how Christian relationships are meant to function – with respect, love, and a recognition of Christ's ultimate authority over all. This means submission isn't about inferiority, but about playing a specific, God-ordained role within the marriage, a role that honors Christ and the unity believers share in Him.
Not a One-Way Street
While this verse focuses on the wife's role, the context of the chapter and the parallel in Ephesians makes it clear this is part of a reciprocal set of duties. It's about how different members of the household, and indeed the church, are to relate to one another in Christ.
The Greek word used here for 'fitting' might surprise you. It suggests that this ideal way of relating wasn't fully realized, even then.
The original Greek uses an imperfect tense for 'is fitting' (or 'was fitting'). This isn't just a minor grammatical point; it carries significant meaning for how we understand these instructions.
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A Present Reality and an Aspiration
This tense often points to an ongoing state or an action that was becoming, but perhaps not yet fully complete. It suggests that the ideal of submission, 'fitting in the Lord,' was the standard for Christian marriage, but the practice might have still been developing. It was what ought to be, the proper way for a Christian wife to relate to her husband, even if it wasn't always perfectly lived out.
More Than a Command
This nuance implies that the instruction isn't just about a past obligation, but about a present aspiration. It calls believers to actively pursue this God-honoring way of relating, recognizing it as a key aspect of living out their new life in Christ.
Understand the original words
hypotassesthe · Greek Verb
The act of voluntarily placing oneself under the authority or leadership of another, modeled after the church's relationship to Christ and reflecting divine order.
agapate · Greek Verb
A selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional commitment to the well-being and benefit of another, characterized by the pattern of Christ's love for the church.
pikrainesthe · Greek Verb
Describes being bitter, irritable, or unnecessarily severe in demeanor or treatment; in marriage, it stands in direct opposition to the Christ-like love commanded of husbands.
The instructions for household relationships in Colossians, including wives submitting to their husbands, were given within the context of a Roman world where women had limited rights and societal expectations were rigidly defined. Paul’s words, while seemingly traditional, were revolutionary in framing these duties within the Christian context of mutual love and respect in the Lord, not mere social convention.
c. AD 60-62— this verse
Paul writes from prison
The Apostle Paul, likely imprisoned in Rome, writes letters to churches he had established or was deeply concerned about, including Colossae. This context of his suffering for the gospel adds weight to his instructions.
c. AD 48-50
Paul visits Colossae
During his missionary journeys, Paul likely spent time in or near Colossae, establishing the church there. This visit laid the foundation for his later letter.
c. AD 50-55
Ephesus becomes a ministry hub
Paul spends a significant amount of time in Ephesus, a major city in the region. Churches in nearby towns like Colossae would have been influenced by his ministry and teachings emanating from Ephesus.
c. AD 55-57
Paul's imprisonment in Caesarea or Rome
Paul faces imprisonment. This period of suffering deeply informs his understanding of Christian endurance and the practical outworking of faith, which he shares in his letters.
This passage directly parallels the instruction to wives in Colossians, providing further context on the nature of submission within marriage as a reflection of Christ's relationship with the Church.
1 Peter 3:1Peter also addresses wives, encouraging them to submit to their husbands, even if the husbands are not believers, highlighting the potential for their conduct to win their husbands to Christ.
Titus 2:4-5This passage instructs older women to teach younger women to love their husbands and children and to be self-controlled and pure, which are virtues that support the idea of submission within the household.
Genesis 2:18The creation account in Genesis establishes the man as the head of the household, laying a foundational understanding for the roles discussed in Colossians regarding marital submission.
1 Corinthians 11:3Paul discusses headship in this passage, stating that Christ is the head of man, and man is the head of woman, providing a theological framework for understanding hierarchical relationships, including marriage.
henryColossians 3:18-25: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
3:18-25 The epistles most taken up in displaying the glory of the Divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular in pressing the duties of the Christian life. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel. Submission is the duty of wives. But it is submission, not to a severe lord or stern tyrant, but to her own husband, who is engaged to affectionate duty. And…
meyerColossians 3:18: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
Colossians 3:18 to Colossians 4:1 .[164] Instructions for the different portions of the household . Why Paul should have given to the churches such a table of household rules only in this Epistle and in that to the Ephesians (comp. also 1 Tim. and Tit.), must be left wholly undecided (Chrysostom exhausts himself in conjectures). They are not polemical; but possibly, in the presence of a theosophico-asc…
The phrase "as is fitting in the Lord" is key here, shifting the context beyond a mere cultural expectation to a divine one. It means this submission isn't a cultural obligation, but a Christian one, fitting for those united in Christ and to be lived out in a way that honors Him.
Paul transitions from general instructions on Christian living to specific duties within the household. He addresses wives first, then husbands, children, parents, slaves, and masters, outlining how Christ's teachings should shape these relationships. This section emphasizes that all these roles, even seemingly subordinate ones, are to be lived out in a way that honors God.
Paul transitions from general instructions on Christian living to specific duties within the household. He addresses wives first, then husbands, children, parents, slaves, and masters, outlining how Christ's teachings should shape these relationships. This section emphasizes that all these roles, even seemingly subordinate ones, are to be lived out in a way that honors God.
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." — The phrase "as is fitting in the Lord" is key here, shifting the context beyond a mere cultural expectation to a divine one. It means this submission isn't a cultural obligation, but a Christian on…
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Last reviewed October 2026
