Colossians 3:18-19
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
English Standard Version (ESV)
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This verse isn't just about obedience; it’s about a specific kind of submission that's fitting in the Lord. This implies it's something that aligns with God's design and has a deeper spiritual context, not just a societal rule. The emphasis is on a mutually beneficial, God-honoring relationship, not a one-sided subjugation.
Paul is transitioning from general instructions on holy living to specific guidance for different relationships within the household. This section lays out mutual duties for wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, emphasizing how Christian principles should shape these domestic bonds. The verse on wives' submission is the beginning of this practical application of faith within the family structure.
The command for wives to submit can sound harsh or outdated. But what if its true meaning is deeply relational and rooted in Christ?
Paul's instruction here isn't about power or control, but about a specific kind of relationship within marriage, reflecting our relationship with God.
A Relational Command
The phrase 'as is fitting in the Lord' is key. It means this submission is not arbitrary or based on one person's whim. It's about acting in a way that honors God and reflects the 'Christian state.' Think of it as a principle that flows from being united in Christ.
Mutual Honor
While this verse addresses wives directly, the context of Scripture, particularly Ephesians 5, emphasizes that this is part of a broader picture of mutual love and respect within marriage. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives' submission is to be within that loving, sacrificial framework. It's not about being a 'vassal,' but about a loyal, Christ-honoring partnership.
Why does the Bible use a tense that suggests something 'was fitting' but perhaps wasn't fully realized? What does this tell us about God's grace in our relationships?
The Greek word translated 'is fitting' can be understood as referring to a past tense that implies an ongoing reality or an ideal state that is being worked towards.
An Ideal, Not Just a Rule
Scholars note that this imperfect tense points to what 'was fitting' or 'became fitting' when entering the Christian life. It suggests that this kind of submission is an ideal that Christian marriage should embody, reflecting a state that is proper and becoming within the Lord.
Grace for the Journey
This language acknowledges that living out these relational duties perfectly is a process. It's not just a command to be obeyed, but a grace to be lived into. It implies that even when it's not perfectly realized, the principle itself remains and is the standard God calls us to strive for, empowered by His Spirit.
Understand the original words
hypotassesthe · Greek Verb
The act of voluntarily placing oneself under the authority or leadership of another, modeled after the church's relationship to Christ and reflecting divine order.
agapate · Greek Verb
A selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional commitment to the well-being and benefit of another, characterized by the pattern of Christ's love for the church.
pikrainesthe · Greek Verb
Describes being bitter, irritable, or unnecessarily severe in demeanor or treatment; in marriage, it stands in direct opposition to the Christ-like love commanded of husbands.
c. AD 60-62— this verse
Paul writes Colossians from prison
Paul, likely imprisoned in Rome or possibly Caesarea, writes to the church in Colossae, a city in Asia Minor. The letter addresses emerging heresies and provides guidance on Christian living.
c. AD 50-60
Spread of Christianity in Asia Minor
Christianity is rapidly expanding throughout the Roman province of Asia Minor, where Colossae is located. This rapid growth often led to challenges integrating faith with existing cultural norms and social structures.
1st Century AD
Roman Household Codes
Society in the Roman Empire operated under strict household codes (the 'paterfamilias' system) that defined hierarchical relationships and duties within families and social structures.
1st Century AD
Emergence of Gnostic and Ascetic Ideas
In the region, various philosophical and religious ideas, including early forms of Gnosticism and asceticism, were circulating, potentially influencing the church in Colossae and prompting Paul's emphasis on practical Christian conduct.
This passage offers a direct parallel, also instructing wives to submit to their husbands, framing it within the context of Christ's relationship with the church, which adds depth to the 'as is fitting in the Lord' instruction.
1 Peter 3:1Peter addresses wives similarly, urging them to be submissive to their own husbands, even if they are unbelievers, highlighting how this submission can be a powerful testimony and is pleasing to God.
Genesis 3:16This foundational text describes the consequences of the Fall, including the shift in the husband-wife dynamic where the husband would rule over the wife, providing historical and theological context for the later instructions on submission.
Titus 2:4-5Paul instructs older women to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, and good homemakers, implicitly supporting a structure where wives fulfill their roles within the marriage, aligning with the spirit of submission.
henryColossians 3:18-25: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
3:18-25 The epistles most taken up in displaying the glory of the Divine grace, and magnifying the Lord Jesus, are the most particular in pressing the duties of the Christian life. We must never separate the privileges and duties of the gospel. Submission is the duty of wives. But it is submission, not to a severe lord or stern tyrant, but to her own husband, who is engaged to affectionate duty. And…
meyerColossians 3:18: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
Colossians 3:18 to Colossians 4:1 .[164] Instructions for the different portions of the household . Why Paul should have given to the churches such a table of household rules only in this Epistle and in that to the Ephesians (comp. also 1 Tim. and Tit.), must be left wholly undecided (Chrysostom exhausts himself in conjectures). They are not polemical; but possibly, in the presence of a theosophico-asc…
This verse isn't just about obedience; it’s about a specific kind of submission that's fitting in the Lord. This implies it's something that aligns with God's design and has a deeper spiritual context, not just a societal rule. The emphasis is on a mutually beneficial, God-honoring relationship, not a one-sided subjugation.
Paul is transitioning from general instructions on holy living to specific guidance for different relationships within the household. This section lays out mutual duties for wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, emphasizing how Christian principles should shape these domestic bonds. The verse on wives' submission is the beginning of this practical application of faith within the family structure.
Paul is transitioning from general instructions on holy living to specific guidance for different relationships within the household. This section lays out mutual duties for wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, emphasizing how Christian principles should shape these domestic bonds. The verse on wives' submission is the beginning of this practical application of faith within the family structure.
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"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them." — This verse isn't just about obedience; it’s about a specific kind of submission that's fitting in the Lord. This implies it's something that aligns with God's design and has a deeper spiritual cont…
