I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons.
English Standard Version (ESV)
This verse isn't just about feeling estranged from family; it points to a deeper pain: being misunderstood and rejected because of one's devotion to God. The psalmist feels like an "alien" not simply due to circumstance, but because his passionate pursuit of God makes him a stranger to those closest to him.
I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons.
English Standard Version (ESV)
The psalmist is lamenting how his intense zeal for God's cause has made him an outcast, even to his closest family. This alienation stems from his righteous actions and beliefs, which his relatives and others perceive as foolish or alien, leading to his reproach. He feels like a stranger, abandoned by those who should be his allies.
Why would loyalty to God push away those closest to you? This psalm reveals a deep connection between devotion and alienation.
This verse isn't just about feeling lonely; it points to a specific reason for that loneliness: the psalmist's intense commitment to God.
Driven by Divine Purpose
Calvin points out that the psalmist isn't just going through a rough patch; he's suffering 'on thy account.' His actions, driven by 'zeal for thy house,' have made him a target. This zeal, while holy, can be misunderstood and even feared by those who don't share the same passion.
The Cost of Piety
Poole highlights that relatives estranged themselves partly out of fear of being caught up in his troubles, but 'chiefly out of dislike of his piety and excessive zeal.' In other words, his devoutness and passion for God made him 'strange' to them. This wasn't a casual disagreement; it was a fundamental difference in allegiance that created a chasm.
Who hurts the most when you're hurting? Often, it's the people we expect to be closest.
The psalm emphasizes that the pain of rejection is amplified when it comes from family. The language used here, 'stranger' and 'alien,' speaks to a profound sense of being cut off.
Beyond Acquaintances
The phrase 'my brethren' and 'my mother's children' isn't just about distant relatives. As Barnes explains, 'unto my mother’s children' denotes the 'most intimate relationship.' In a culture with polygamy, children of the same mother shared a unique bond, even closer than children of the same father by different mothers. This makes the alienation all the more devastating.
Ask a follow-up
A Pattern of Pain
This wasn't an isolated incident for the psalmist. Expository notes point to similar sentiments in other Psalms (like Psalm 38:11) and Job's experience (Job 19:13 ff.), where closest relations turned against the sufferer. This highlights that the pain of family estrangement is a recurring theme for those who suffer unjustly or are set apart by their devotion.
Understand the original words
zar · Hebrew Noun
A person from another country or culture who lacks the status, rights, and familial bonds of the native; often used metaphorically to describe spiritual or social isolation.
nokri · Hebrew Noun
A foreigner or someone who does not belong to the immediate community or covenantal family, emphasizing the sense of being an outsider.
This verse powerfully captures the deep pain of familial rejection, a suffering intensified for David as his own brothers turned against him due to jealousy and political maneuvering during his rise to kingship.
c. 1030 BC
David Anointed King
Samuel the prophet anoints the young David as king, bypassing his older brothers. This event sets the stage for intense jealousy and conflict within David's family.
c. 1020 BC
Eliab's Hostility Towards David
David's eldest brother, Eliab, expresses open hostility and suspicion towards David, particularly during the confrontation with Goliath. This highlights the deep-seated familial estrangement.
c. 1020-1000 BC— this verse
David on the Run from Saul
David flees from King Saul, living as a fugitive. During this time, his close relationships are strained, and he experiences betrayal and isolation from those closest to him.
c. 1000 BC
David Becomes King of Israel
After years of persecution, David is finally established as the king of Israel, uniting the tribes and ushering in a golden age.
This passage directly quotes Psalm 69:9, showing that the 'zeal for your house' that caused the psalmist's alienation is a characteristic echoed in Jesus' life, highlighting how devotion to God's purposes can lead to misunderstanding from those closest to us.
Romans 15:3Paul references how Christ did not seek His own comfort but endured reproach for the sake of those who seek God, directly linking Jesus' experience of being estranged to the psalmist's suffering and God's ultimate glory.
Jesus states that His mother and brothers are those who do the will of His Father in heaven, illustrating how spiritual family can transcend biological ties, a concept that resonates with the psalmist feeling like an outsider to his own mother's sons due to his devotion.
This verse explicitly states that Jesus' own brothers did not believe in Him, providing a direct New Testament parallel to the psalmist's lament of becoming a stranger to his own family because of his divine calling and mission.
Job 19:13-14Job similarly laments that his brothers have become distant and his acquaintances utterly estranged, showing a shared theme of deep personal suffering where even one's closest family relationships are fractured by affliction.
poolePsalms 69:8: "I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children."
My nearest kinsmen estranged themselves from me; partly out of fear, test they should be involved in my sufferings; and chiefly out of dislike of his piety and excessive zeal in religion, as it here follows.
pulpitPsalms 69:8: "I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children."
Verse 8. - I am become a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children. The preference of David over all his elder brethren was calculated to arouse their jealousy (1 Samuel 16:6-13); and Eliab's hostile feeling is distinctly shown in 1 Samuel 17:28. We may gather from Psalm 38:, as well as from the present passage, that the alienation continued, and was not confined to Eliab.
This verse isn't just about feeling estranged from family; it points to a deeper pain: being misunderstood and rejected because of one's devotion to God. The psalmist feels like an "alien" not simply due to circumstance, but because his passionate pursuit of God makes him a stranger to those closest to him.
The psalmist is lamenting how his intense zeal for God's cause has made him an outcast, even to his closest family. This alienation stems from his righteous actions and beliefs, which his relatives and others perceive as foolish or alien, leading to his reproach. He feels like a stranger, abandoned by those who should be his allies.
The psalmist is lamenting how his intense zeal for God's cause has made him an outcast, even to his closest family. This alienation stems from his righteous actions and beliefs, which his relatives and others perceive as foolish or alien, leading to his reproach. He feels like a stranger, abandoned by those who should be his allies.
"I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons." — This verse isn't just about feeling estranged from family; it points to a deeper pain: being misunderstood and rejected because of one's devotion to God. The psalmist feels like an "alien" not simp…
Get the original Greek and Hebrew, verse-by-verse context, and related passages inside the app.
Last reviewed October 2026