I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning.
English Standard Version (ESV)
David describes his profound distress, not just by outward signs, but by how he behaved and went about his life, mimicking the deepest human grief for a mother. This wasn't a casual sadness, but an all-encompassing mourning that affected his very posture and demeanor.
I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning.
English Standard Version (ESV)
David is describing the deep injustice he's suffering: his enemies, who he treated with profound kindness and compassion as if they were his closest family, have instead attacked him viciously. He laments how he would grieve for their troubles as if they were his own brothers or even his mother, yet they rejoiced in his suffering and plotted against him.
When others wronged David, he didn't just feel bad; he acted like he was mourning a loved one. What does this say about true empathy?
David describes his behavior towards those who wronged him: 'I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning.' (Psalm 35:14).
Radical Empathy
This isn't just about feeling sorry for someone. David's actions show a profound level of empathy, even for his enemies. He didn't just offer condolences; he embodied the deep sorrow and mourning usually reserved for the closest family.
The 'Why'
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David didn't just feel grief; he looked like he was grieving. What can the outward signs of sorrow teach us?
The verse paints a vivid picture: 'I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother.' This describes more than just an internal feeling; it speaks to the physical posture and outward expression of deep mourning.
Oriental Mourning Customs
Relevance Today
While specific customs change, the principle remains: genuine sorrow often has an outward expression. In cultures that can sometimes suppress or hide deep emotions, David’s example reminds us that authentic grief, even for difficult situations or people, can be expressed physically and visibly.
Understand the original words
sāp̄aḏ · Hebrew Verb
The expression of grief, sorrow, or profound lamentation, often associated with death or tragic loss.
qāḏar · Hebrew Verb
To grieve with intense sorrow or to express outward signs of mourning, such as wearing sackcloth or weeping.
This psalm deeply reflects David's experiences as a fugitive from King Saul. The profound sorrow described in verse 14 speaks to David's deep empathy and loyalty, even towards those plotting his demise, starkly contrasting with the bitter betrayal he faced.
c. 1025-1015 BC— this verse
David's persecution by Saul
King Saul, consumed by jealousy and fear, relentlessly pursued David, viewing him as a threat to his throne. This period involved David living as a fugitive, hiding in wilderness strongholds and even seeking refuge among enemies.
c. 1015 BC
David's exile to Gath
David, at his wit's end, fled to the Philistine city of Gath, feigning madness to escape the pursuit of Saul. This desperate act highlights the extreme danger he faced.
c. 1010 BC
David spares Saul's life
In the cave of En Gedi, David had a clear opportunity to kill Saul but chose instead to spare him, cutting off a piece of Saul's robe as proof. This act demonstrated David's commitment to God's anointed king, even amidst persecution.
c. 1005 BC
David becomes King of Judah
Following Saul's death, David was anointed king over the tribe of Judah. This marked a significant step towards his ultimate kingship over all Israel, but the conflict with Saul's remaining loyalists and the divided kingdom continued.
Jesus commands His followers to love one another as He has loved them, highlighting the profound and sacrificial nature of love that Psalm 35:14 reflects in David's actions towards his enemies.
Luke 6:35This verse teaches to love enemies and do good without expecting anything in return, echoing the self-sacrificial kindness David showed even to those who wronged him.
Romans 12:20Paul quotes Proverbs, telling believers to heap 'burning coals' on their enemies by showing kindness, which directly parallels David's compassionate response to his adversaries in Psalm 35:14.
Matthew 26:50Jesus refers to Judas as 'friend' even in the act of betrayal, demonstrating a deep, counter-intuitive form of engagement that resonates with David's experience of treating his betrayers with brotherly concern.
calvinPsalms 35:11-15: "False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not."
- Violent witnesses rise up, they charge me with things which I know not. 12. They render me evil for good, to the bereaving [708] of my soul. 13. But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I afflicted my soul with fasting; and have poured my prayer into my own bosom. 14. I behaved myself towards him as if he had been my friend and brother: I humbled myself as one that mourneth h…
cambridgePsalms 35:14: "I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother."
14 . Better with R.V. I behaved myself as though it had been my friend or my brother: I bowed down mourning, as one that bewaileth his mother. Had they been his nearest and dearest, he could not have displayed deeper grief. The verse would be improved by a slight transposition (which is supported by Psalm 38:6 ), thus; I bowed down (descriptive of the mourner’s…
David describes his profound distress, not just by outward signs, but by how he behaved and went about his life, mimicking the deepest human grief for a mother. This wasn't a casual sadness, but an all-encompassing mourning that affected his very posture and demeanor.
David is describing the deep injustice he's suffering: his enemies, who he treated with profound kindness and compassion as if they were his closest family, have instead attacked him viciously. He laments how he would grieve for their troubles as if they were his own brothers or even his mother, yet they rejoiced in his suffering and plotted against him.
David is describing the deep injustice he's suffering: his enemies, who he treated with profound kindness and compassion as if they were his closest family, have instead attacked him viciously. He laments how he would grieve for their troubles as if they were his own brothers or even his mother, yet they rejoiced in his suffering and plotted against him.
"I went about as though I grieved for my friend or my brother; as one who laments his mother, I bowed down in mourning." — David describes his profound distress, not just by outward signs, but by how he behaved and went about his life, mimicking the deepest human grief for a mother. This wasn't a casual sadness, but…
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Last reviewed October 2026