With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Proverbs 25:15
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It's easy to read "a soft tongue breaks a bone" and think only of words soothing anger, but the imagery suggests something deeper. The verse points out that gentle speech can penetrate even the hardest hearts, softening them as oil might seep to the bone, subtly influencing and reshaping someone as stubborn as a bone itself.
With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
English Standard Version (ESV)
This proverb appears in a collection of sayings attributed to Solomon, compiled by the scribes of King Hezekiah. It contrasts forceful opposition with patient influence, suggesting that a ruler's hard heart can be softened and persuaded not by defiance, but by gentle persistence and a mild approach. The verses immediately following continue this theme of wise counsel versus foolish behavior, reinforcing the value of calm communication over heated confrontation.
Ever feel like you're hitting a wall with someone powerful or stubborn? This verse shows there's a better way than confrontation.
The first part of the verse speaks to how even the most formidable authority figures can be influenced. 'Long forbearing' isn't about weakness; it's about a strategic, patient approach. Instead of meeting resistance with more resistance, the proverb suggests that persistent, calm endurance can soften a ruler's heart and change their mind.
This echoes wisdom found elsewhere in Proverbs, like the idea that 'a harsh word stirs up anger, but a soft answer turns away wrath' (Proverbs 15:1). The point is that forceful opposition often hardens hearts, while patient waiting and gentle presentation can create an opening for persuasion.
What does it mean for a 'soft tongue' to 'break a bone'? It's a powerful metaphor for how gentle words can achieve incredible strength.
The second half of the verse uses a striking image: a 'soft tongue' breaking a 'bone.' Bones are hard, strong, and fundamental to our structure. This metaphor illustrates how gentle, kind, and humble speech can penetrate the hardest hearts and overcome deep-seated stubbornness.
Think of it like a persistent, gentle stream carving through rock over time, or a soothing oil that works its way down to the bone. It’s not about forceful impact, but about a persistent, gentle pressure that ultimately yields a profound change. This is the incredible, often underestimated, strength found in kindness and humility when communicating.
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ʾōreḵ ʾappayim · Hebrew Noun phrase
The capacity for endurance, steady temper, and self-control, especially when dealing with authority or difficult situations. It is a fruit of the Spirit that prevents impulsive reactions.
qāṣîn · Hebrew Noun
An authoritative figure, leader, or official. In biblical wisdom literature, a ruler is expected to exercise justice and seek counsel from the wise.
lāšôn rakkâ · Hebrew Noun phrase
Refers to gentle, calm, and persuasive speech. It signifies a non-confrontational approach that, through humility and wisdom, can overcome immense resistance.
This passage shows David, through patient submission and gentle speech, persuading King Saul to turn from his wrath, demonstrating how a 'soft tongue' and 'long forbearing' can pacify even a furious leader.
Proverbs 15:1This verse directly echoes the proverb's sentiment, stating that a gentle answer deflects anger, reinforcing the power of mild words to de-escalate conflict and soften hardened hearts.
Ecclesiastes 10:4This passage offers a contrasting principle, showing that a ruler's anger, if unleashed without restraint, can be devastating, thus highlighting the wisdom and effectiveness of the patient approach described in Proverbs 25:15.
Matthew 18:26This parable illustrates a powerful king forgiving a massive debt after the servant's plea, mirroring how persistent, humble appeals (akin to a 'soft tongue' and 'long forbearing') can persuade even those in authority to show mercy.
pooleProverbs 25:15: "By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone."
By long forbearing, by patient submission and expectation, is a prince persuaded, or pacified , whereas his rage is increased by opposition. Compare Ecclesiastes 10:4 . A soft tongue, a mild and humble answer, breaketh the bone; softeneth a heart which is as hard as bone or stone. He alludes to those oils which sink through the flesh to the very bone. See Psalm 109:18 .
gillProverbs 25:15: "By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone."
By long forbearing is a prince persuaded,.... To come into measures, and do that which his council and ministry advise him to, and to which he may seem at first very averse; but by a mild and gentle representation of things, by an humble submission of them to him, and by frequent remonstrances and patient waiting, his mind is softened, bent, and inclined to take their advice, and pursue the measures…
It's easy to read "a soft tongue breaks a bone" and think only of words soothing anger, but the imagery suggests something deeper. The verse points out that gentle speech can penetrate even the hardest hearts, softening them as oil might seep to the bone, subtly influencing and reshaping someone as stubborn as a bone itself.
This proverb appears in a collection of sayings attributed to Solomon, compiled by the scribes of King Hezekiah. It contrasts forceful opposition with patient influence, suggesting that a ruler's hard heart can be softened and persuaded not by defiance, but by gentle persistence and a mild approach. The verses immediately following continue this theme of wise counsel versus foolish behavior, reinforcing the value of calm communication over heated confrontation.
This proverb appears in a collection of sayings attributed to Solomon, compiled by the scribes of King Hezekiah. It contrasts forceful opposition with patient influence, suggesting that a ruler's hard heart can be softened and persuaded not by defiance, but by gentle persistence and a mild approach. The verses immediately following continue this theme of wise counsel versus foolish behavior, reinforcing the value of calm communication over heated confrontation.
"With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone." — It's easy to read "a soft tongue breaks a bone" and think only of words soothing anger, but the imagery suggests something deeper. The verse points out that gentle speech can penetrate even the harde…
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Last reviewed October 2026