But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Jesus's response highlights that the ability to forgo marriage isn't a simple personal choice, but a gift from God. This isn't about judging others' choices, but recognizing that some are uniquely empowered by God to live a celibate life for His purposes.
But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
English Standard Version (ESV)
Jesus' disciples, reeling from his teaching on the absolute permanence of marriage, suggest that in light of such commitment, it's actually better not to marry at all. Jesus responds by agreeing that not everyone can embrace this idea of celibacy, implying it's a special gift from God, not a choice freely made by mere human will. He then elaborates on who these exceptional individuals might be, leading into his discussion of different kinds of "eunuchs."
The disciples just heard Jesus say marriage is meant to be unbreakable. Their immediate reaction? Marriage is too hard! But Jesus’ response points to something deeper than just personal preference.
Jesus acknowledges the disciples' sentiment that marriage can be difficult, especially with His high standard. However, he pivots from their complaint about hardship to a different idea: the capacity for certain individuals to abstain from marriage entirely.
A Special Grace
When Jesus says, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given,” he’s not talking about a personal decision or a stoic willpower. The original Greek suggests that this ability, this capacity, is something given by God. It’s a special grace, a gifting, that enables some to live a single life without the natural longing for marriage.
Not About Inability, But Divine Enablement
This isn’t about people being unable to marry due to circumstance or lack of desire, but about specific individuals being enabled by God to live a fruitful, celibate life for His purposes. It’s a divine enablement, not a human option.
Think of it like spiritual gifts: not everyone has the gift of prophecy or healing; it’s given to whom God wills. Similarly, the gift of celibacy for the kingdom is a specific enablement.
Ask a follow-up
Jesus mentions 'eunuchs who have cast themselves into that condition for the kingdom of heaven's sake.' What does this intense phrase really mean for us today?
Jesus is clarifying that while most people are called to marriage, some are uniquely set apart to live a single life, and the reason for this calling is the advancement of God's kingdom.
Freedom for Service
The 'eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven' are not those who have been physically altered or those who simply dislike marriage. They are individuals who, by God's enablement, choose to remain single so they can be freed from the specific cares and commitments of married life. This freedom allows them to devote themselves more fully and without distraction to God's work.
A Sacred Choice, Not a Sacrifice of Joy
This isn't about suppressing desire or seeing singleness as a lesser state. Instead, it's about recognizing that God equips certain people with the grace to pursue ministry, mission, and devotion with undivided hearts. Their single status is a sacred choice, a strategic alignment with God's purposes for His kingdom, not a pitiable condition.
This passage directly echoes the idea that different individuals have different gifts, specifically mentioning that one person has the gift to marry while another has the gift of celibacy, aligning with Jesus' statement that not everyone can receive his teaching on marital permanence.
1 Corinthians 7:9This verse further elaborates on the idea of gifts by stating it is better to marry than to burn with passion, reinforcing the concept that continence is a specific gift not universally given, and celibacy is a choice for those who have received this particular grace.
Romans 12:3Paul's exhortation not to think of himself more highly than he ought, but to think soberly according to the measure of faith God has assigned, connects to Jesus' teaching by emphasizing that our abilities and callings, including the capacity for celibacy, are gifts from God, not simply personal choices.
1 Corinthians 7:25-26Paul addresses the question of marriage and virginity, similar to Jesus' disciples' query, and advises that while marriage is permissible, in the present distress, remaining unmarried might be preferable, underscoring that specific circumstances and divine gifting influence the wisest path.
calvinMatthew 19:10-12: "His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry."
- His disciples say to him, If such be the case of the man with his wife, [600] it is not expedient to enter into marriage. 11. Who said to them, [601] All are not capable of receiving this saying, but those to whom it is given. 12. For there are eunuchs, who were so born from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs, who have been made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs,…
henryMatthew 19:3-12: "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?"
19:3-12 The Pharisees were desirous of drawing something from Jesus which they might represent as contrary to the law of Moses. Cases about marriage have been numerous, and sometimes perplexed; made so, not by the law of God, but by the lusts and follies of men; and often people fix what they will do, before they ask for advice. Jesus replied by as…
Jesus's response highlights that the ability to forgo marriage isn't a simple personal choice, but a gift from God. This isn't about judging others' choices, but recognizing that some are uniquely empowered by God to live a celibate life for His purposes.
Jesus' disciples, reeling from his teaching on the absolute permanence of marriage, suggest that in light of such commitment, it's actually better not to marry at all. Jesus responds by agreeing that not everyone can embrace this idea of celibacy, implying it's a special gift from God, not a choice freely made by mere human will. He then elaborates on who these exceptional individuals might be, leading into his discussion of different kinds of "eunuchs."
Jesus' disciples, reeling from his teaching on the absolute permanence of marriage, suggest that in light of such commitment, it's actually better not to marry at all. Jesus responds by agreeing that not everyone can embrace this idea of celibacy, implying it's a special gift from God, not a choice freely made by mere human will. He then elaborates on who these exceptional individuals might be, leading into his discussion of different kinds of "eunuchs."
"But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given." — Jesus's response highlights that the ability to forgo marriage isn't a simple personal choice, but a gift from God. This isn't about judging others' choices, but recognizing that some are uniquely…
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Last reviewed October 2026