The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
English Standard Version (ESV)
The disciples aren't just complaining about marriage; they're reacting to the idea that divorce is no longer easy. They understand Jesus' teaching implies a very strict bond, so they conclude it's actually better to avoid marriage altogether than to be bound by such stringent conditions.
The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
English Standard Version (ESV)
Fresh off Jesus’ teaching to the Pharisees about divorce and the sanctity of marriage, His disciples are stunned and worried. They understood Jesus to mean that a man can’t just divorce his wife for any reason, which clashes with the easy divorce customs of their day. This led them to express a radical thought: if marriage is this serious and binding, perhaps it’s actually better not to get married at all.
Jesus just declared that divorce is nearly impossible, challenging the easy divorce culture of their day. His disciples' reaction? 'Forget it! Better not to marry at all.' What does this tell us about their understanding and the weight of Jesus' words?
A Radical Redefinition
Jesus has just explained that God's original design for marriage, as seen in Genesis, is a lifelong union, with very limited exceptions for divorce.
This completely flips the script on the common practice of the time, where divorce was easy and frequent. The disciples, rooted in their cultural understanding, are stunned.
This immediate, negative reaction from Jesus' closest followers shows how revolutionary His teaching on marriage was.
The disciples' argument is practical and self-focused: 'Marriage is too hard if we can't get out of it easily, so let's avoid it.' But Jesus points to something deeper than mere convenience.
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The Gift of Continence
Jesus doesn't dismiss the disciples' concern, but He reframes the issue. He acknowledges that not everyone is able to receive His teaching on lifelong, indissoluble marriage.
The disciples saw marriage, with its unbreakable bond, as a source of potential misery. Jesus implicitly acknowledges the difficulties but calls it a 'wonderful gift.' How can something so challenging be so good?
Sweetness Mixed with Bitterness
The reformers, like Calvin, understood that marriage, while a divine gift, operates in a fallen world. It's not always easy.
The disciples' reaction reflects the widespread acceptance of the more lenient 'any cause' divorce initiated by Rabbi Hillel, highlighting how deeply entrenched this practice had become and how radical Jesus' teaching on marital permanence was.
c. 1900-1700 BC
Early Israelite Marriage Customs
While specific legal texts are scarce, early Israelite society likely followed broader ancient Near Eastern marriage customs, emphasizing kinship and patriarchal authority.
c. 1400 BC
Book of the Covenant
Parts of the Torah, including laws concerning family and relationships, are believed to have been codified, laying foundational principles for marriage and divorce.
c. 621 BC
Deuteronomic Law Codified
The Book of Deuteronomy revises and expands upon earlier laws, including provisions for divorce that grant men the right to issue a writ of divorce under certain conditions.
586 BC
Babylonian Exile
The Babylonian exile profoundly impacted Jewish religious and social practices, leading to a greater emphasis on the Law and potentially influencing views on marriage and family purity.
c. 400 BC
Hillel's Influence on Divorce
The influential Rabbi Hillel the Elder interprets the Deuteronomic divorce law broadly, allowing divorce for 'any cause,' which became the more lenient, popular view among many Jews.
c. 30 BC - AD 30
Shammai's Stricter Interpretation
Rabbi Shammai and his school offer a stricter interpretation, requiring a significant offense for divorce, a view that contrasted with Hillel's more permissive stance.
c. AD 27-30— this verse
Jesus Addresses Divorce
Jesus directly confronts the Pharisees' debates on divorce, reasserting the permanence of marriage as established at creation and rejecting the 'any cause' interpretation.
This passage directly contrasts the disciples' view by stating God's initial design: 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' It highlights that marriage itself is God's good idea, even when challenging.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9Paul addresses the topic of marriage and singleness, echoing Christ's teaching. He advises that it is better for the unmarried and widows to remain single if they can exercise self-control, but if they cannot, they should marry, as it is better than burning with desire.
1 Corinthians 7:27-28This passage offers a similar perspective to Jesus' conversation with the disciples, discussing the implications of being bound to a wife or free from such a bond. It suggests that while being free from such ties has advantages, marriage itself is not inherently bad.
Matthew 19:11-12Immediately following the disciples' statement, Jesus responds by explaining that not everyone can accept his teaching on lifelong commitment, referencing different forms of 'eunuchs' for the sake of the kingdom. This clarifies that lifelong commitment is a gift, not a default expectation for all.
vincentMatthew 19:10: "His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry."
The case (αἰτία)Not the relation of the man to his wife, nor the circumstances, the state of the case. Αἰτία refers to cause (Matthew 19:3), and the meaning is, if the matter stands thus with reference to the cause which the man must have for putting away his wife.
calvinMatthew 19:10-12: "His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry."
- His disciples say to him, If such be the case of the man with his wife, [600] it is not expedient to enter into marriage. 11. Who said to them, [601] All are not capable of receiving this saying, but those to whom it is given. 12. For there are eunuchs, who were so born from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs, who have been made eunuchs by men; and there are eunuchs,…
The disciples aren't just complaining about marriage; they're reacting to the idea that divorce is no longer easy. They understand Jesus' teaching implies a very strict bond, so they conclude it's actually better to avoid marriage altogether than to be bound by such stringent conditions.
Fresh off Jesus’ teaching to the Pharisees about divorce and the sanctity of marriage, His disciples are stunned and worried. They understood Jesus to mean that a man can’t just divorce his wife for any reason, which clashes with the easy divorce customs of their day. This led them to express a radical thought: if marriage is this serious and binding, perhaps it’s actually better not to get married at all.
Fresh off Jesus’ teaching to the Pharisees about divorce and the sanctity of marriage, His disciples are stunned and worried. They understood Jesus to mean that a man can’t just divorce his wife for any reason, which clashes with the easy divorce customs of their day. This led them to express a radical thought: if marriage is this serious and binding, perhaps it’s actually better not to get married at all.
"The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”" — The disciples aren't just complaining about marriage; they're reacting to the idea that divorce is no longer easy. They understand Jesus' teaching implies a very strict bond, so they conclude it's ac…
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Last reviewed October 2026