Genesis 31:28
And why did you not permit me to kiss my sons and my daughters farewell? Now you have done foolishly.
English Standard Version (ESV)
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Laban laments not being able to kiss his "sons and daughters," but he's not just referring to his children; he's talking about his grandchildren as well. This reveals a deeper, more personal pain behind his anger—the disruption of familial connection, even as he tries to hold onto his possessions.
Laban has just discovered Jacob has fled with his family and livestock, and he's pursued Jacob for seven days. When God warns Laban in a dream not to harm Jacob, Laban confronts him, accusing him of stealing his daughters and wealth, and laments that Jacob didn't allow him a proper farewell. Jacob defends himself by recounting Laban's mistreatment over twenty years, highlighting God's blessing and protection as the true source of his prosperity.
Laban confronts Jacob, not with physical violence, but with stinging words. What deep emotional wound is he trying to expose?
Laban's accusation, 'And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters farewell?' (Gen 31:28), reveals a profound fatherly grief. The kiss was a customary sign of affection and farewell. Laban feels robbed not just of property, but of a moment of familial connection with his children and grandchildren (referred to as 'sons' and 'daughters' here, meaning grandsons and granddaughters, as indicated in Genesis 31:43 and 55).
This highlights:
Jacob calls Laban's actions 'foolish.' What makes Laban's pursuit and accusations so misguided, especially in light of God's intervention?
Jacob's sharp retort, 'Now you have done foolishly' (Gen 31:28), cuts to the heart of Laban's flawed reasoning. Laban's pursuit is fueled by anger and a sense of personal loss, leading him to make accusations that are both baseless and ultimately powerless against God's will.
Here's why it's foolish:
Understand the original words
sakhal · Hebrew Adjective
In a biblical sense, this describes actions that lack moral discernment, wisdom, or regard for God's law. It is the conduct of one who ignores the fear of the Lord.
This verse captures a poignant moment during Jacob's tense flight from his father-in-law, Laban. Laban's accusation highlights the deep personal pain and sense of betrayal he felt at Jacob's departure, even as the narrative reveals Laban's own exploitative past and Jacob's divinely guided escape.
c. 1800 BC
Abraham settles in Canaan
Abraham, Jacob's grandfather, is called by God to leave his homeland and settle in the land of Canaan, which God promises to his descendants.
c. 1750 BC
Isaac lives in Canaan
Isaac, Jacob's father, lives as a sojourner in Canaan, continuing the covenant promises made to Abraham.
c. 1720 BC
Jacob flees to Haran
Fearing his brother Esau's wrath, Jacob flees from Canaan to Haran, seeking refuge with his uncle Laban.
c. 1720 BC - c. 1706 BC
Jacob serves Laban
Jacob works for Laban for 20 years, marrying Laban's daughters Leah and Rachel, and accumulating significant wealth in livestock.
c. 1706 BC
This passage shows the cultural significance of a kiss as a sign of affection and farewell, making Laban's complaint about not being able to kiss his family understandable, even if his actions were unjust.
Genesis 31:43In this verse, Laban claims Jacob's daughters and their children as his own. This highlights the familial claims and potential emotional ties that underscore Laban's frustration at not being able to bid a proper farewell, even amidst his pursuit.
Genesis 31:55This verse directly contrasts Laban's behavior in Genesis 31:28, showing him later kissing his daughters and blessing them. It illustrates a shift in Laban's approach, perhaps due to divine intervention or a moment of reflection, after his pursuit of Jacob.
Psalm 76:10This verse speaks to how God restrains the anger of man. It provides a theological framework for understanding how God intervened to prevent Laban from acting on his rage and taking violent action against Jacob, despite Laban's own sense of justification.
gillGenesis 31:28: "And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters? thou hast now done foolishly in so doing."
And hast not suffered me to kiss my sons and my daughters?.... Did not give him an opportunity of taking his farewell, which used to be done with a kiss, as it is with us at this day: by his sons he means his grandsons, and so the Targum of Jonathan, my daughters' sons; and by his daughters Rachel and Leah, and Dinah his granddaughter: thou hast done foolishly in so doing: since…
calvinGenesis 31:1-55: "And he heard the words of Laban's sons, saying, Jacob hath taken away all that was our father's; and of that which was our father's hath he gotten all this glory."
Si ita dicebat, Punctis parvis respersa erunt merces tua: pariebant omnes pecudes punctis parvis respersa: et si ita dicebat, Lineis distincta erunt merces tua: tunc pariebant omnes pecudes lineis distincta.
Thus God hath taken away the cattle of your father, and given them to me.
Et abstulit Deus pecus p…
Laban laments not being able to kiss his "sons and daughters," but he's not just referring to his children; he's talking about his grandchildren as well. This reveals a deeper, more personal pain behind his anger—the disruption of familial connection, even as he tries to hold onto his possessions.
Laban has just discovered Jacob has fled with his family and livestock, and he's pursued Jacob for seven days. When God warns Laban in a dream not to harm Jacob, Laban confronts him, accusing him of stealing his daughters and wealth, and laments that Jacob didn't allow him a proper farewell. Jacob defends himself by recounting Laban's mistreatment over twenty years, highlighting God's blessing and protection as the true source of his prosperity.
Laban has just discovered Jacob has fled with his family and livestock, and he's pursued Jacob for seven days. When God warns Laban in a dream not to harm Jacob, Laban confronts him, accusing him of stealing his daughters and wealth, and laments that Jacob didn't allow him a proper farewell. Jacob defends himself by recounting Laban's mistreatment over twenty years, highlighting God's blessing and protection as the true source of his prosperity.
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Jacob's secret departure
Prompted by God and feeling increasingly mistreated by Laban and his sons, Jacob secretly gathers his family and possessions to return to Canaan.
c. 1706 BC
Laban pursues Jacob
Laban discovers Jacob's departure and pursues him for seven days, eventually catching up in the region of Gilead.
c. 1706 BC
Covenant at Gilead
After a divine warning to Laban and a tense confrontation, Jacob and Laban make a covenant, establishing a boundary and calling God as witness.
"And why did you not permit me to kiss my sons and my daughters farewell? Now you have done foolishly." — Laban laments not being able to kiss his "sons and daughters," but he's not just referring to his children; he's talking about his grandchildren as well. This reveals a deeper, more personal pain beh…
